PsychoBeast

i collect trust i put it in jars and place them along my walls i hide behind them and skitter across floors coated in dust i lust for answers questions upon questions blanket my awareness sifting through to the light i only see it in glimpses im more at home down here anyway living from day to day under the beds of other's scouring observing searching for everything hungry hungry hungry ravenous greedy green i see things that i dont mean and mean things i dont say to be free is never free but its okay ill always be here saying something because its something to say but if you were to listen.. i learn to sway and

And your eyes sparkle With irrendescent hopelessness I slump in this defeat I admit that I, for today Am weak And you cant begin to process The swelling uprising tide of my heart The ebbing flow of this timed massacre And I bet you wont even read this Let alone distract yourself from your reflection To even begin to go about comprehending these words I am forgetful and forgiving The illusion of fine Holds fast in the windows you see through And all you see is calm and collected You cant fathom my distress and sudden unrepressed state Its scary and unreal I need that fuzzyness you get And I cant stand not feeling it It helps

and i read those piles of words i hoarded that collection of letters and i dove into them i let them swallow my shallow mind so precious and dull they consumed me until inspiration spilled from my mouth and fingers i wont regret this i breathe in this translation continuously its apart of my clouded chest it has seeped into my head i cant shake it for its all ive got its holding me together im bound by each letter i fight and strain   but i cant break it lines simplistic and meaningless contorted and forged and these shapes symbolize our world we feed from them and thrive on this link to humanity

All I can ask is why would you do this? And Im swimming in the sorrow Even with my eyes shut Im swimming The corpse of us is cold and still And I can smell the stench of failure The light of hope dimming Youre losing it Losing it The man holding the cards Fate laughs at us And Im swimming in the sorrow All I can see is the wet sadness Of a future drowned in our mistakes Or rather choices Stuoid stupid choices I had fought against the logic of their voices And now Im swimming The truth still makes me sick It pulls me down Into the depth of its wrongness Im lost in it Realization hits homeAnd Im alone So alone Im swimmin

The dark tugs at the age Sometimes Im under Sometimes Im above But Im learning Oh Im learning Your smile tastes of love And it holds me afloat A strong resistance Against the black anchor Chained to my heart And Im learning Oh Im learning

And every night Before I sleep When the dark comes I lose my resolve I falter And crumble to pieces Ground into dust By these traveler's souls All the promises All the faith You let me fall And break apart You were supposed to catch my breath And hold it close To the love Behind my eyes The shine In my smile Our blade Now dull A broken spine Supporting a million regrets